What's Goin' On

Since I've started my new job, I've been terrible at updating this blog. I am busier, but I used to make time. Somehow it's just fallen off my radar. But I'm going to try to be more consistent!

So. I've recently decided that I need to be in better shape - you know, get healthy, fit, all that good stuff. A few people at work had been raving about this place called The Bar Method. This past Saturday I gave in and gave it a try. It is a bit pricey - $20 per session, with various package discounts. Mind you, I am not in good shape at all. AT ALL. I'm not morbidly obese or anything, but I'm definitely not fit. I get tired easily, I throw up when I run, I can't touch my toes without bending my knees. I sucked it up and tried it.

It's a very interesting method of working out, combining ballet, yoga and pilates with a bit of weight training. After one class, I can tell it would definitely get me in shape. I was SO SORE on Sunday. Everything hurt - my shoulders, pecs, biceps, triceps, abs (the least sore b/c I was practically dead by the time we got around the ab exercises), gluts, quads, hamstrings, calves and shins. One of the things that happens while you're working out is that your legs tend to shake - and I mean SHAKE. The instructor said it's a good thing though, because it means your muscle is breaking down and reshaping itself to be longer and leaner.

I'd love to go back, despite not being a fan of exercise in general, but it's just so damn expensive. They offer an introductory price of $100 for 30 days (unlimited number of sessions), which is pretty good, but still more than I would normally pay to exercise. And after the intro offer, it gets really pricey.

Turns out Drew Barrymore is a fan of The Bar Method though, because she was in one of my boss's sessions! My boss said Drew's legs were shaking too. That makes me feel better about myself.

Same Old Nothing

I don't really have anything in particular to blog about, but am just burnt out and taking a break from work.

Have you guys seen the new Simpsons trailer? At first, I was like...eh, it's nothing special. But then the last scene is of Homer walking a pig on the ceiling while singing, "Spiderpig, spiderpig, does whatever a spiderpig does..." OMG, that cracked me up! I was laughing so hard for at least two minutes. Can't wait to see that movie.



Also, people in China are serving cardboard to other people as food. Not sure what that says about the Chinese. Well...I do know, but I'll just do as I was taught, you know, "If you don't have anything nice to say, blah blah blah."

That's all. Oh yeah. Bush sucks.

Update
I guess the Chinese cardboard story was fake! The reporter made it up. What ever happened to journalistic integrity?

Also, I get to go to a screening of the Simpson's movie!

The Weekend Update

Friday
Nothing too eventful happened on Friday. A few of us went out for drinks at Ye Olde King's Head. It's nothing fancy, which is kind of why we like it. Call drinks are only $8! That's a steal in LA.

Saturday
Went to Manhattan Beach with BK and Fara to eat lunch at Uncle Bill's something Pancake restaurant. Yum! After stuffing our faces, we walked around the shops, spied on a few surfers and visited the mini aquarium place. It was a fun day!

Sunday
Hung out with family most of the day. Went to Lisa Klein Kids and saw...of all people...Brett Ratner. He's even more disgusting-looking in person.

And yet, he was still with a relatively attractive young woman. I mean...really. How desperate are you? And really, do you honestly believe he'll put you in one of his piece of shix movies? Poor dumb girls...

Haircut
I got my haircut this weekend. I made sure to choose an auspicious day - yes, I believe in that kind of stuff. The last time i made an appointment w/o consulting the Chinese calendar, I ended up with a mullet. Seriously. I do like my haircut. I like my stylist; this is the second time I've gone to him and he's consistently good. However. The prices were raised and no one mentioned it to me until it was actually time to pay!! It went from $45 (very reasonable in LA) to $60!!!!! Ugh. Needless to say, I wasn't exactly happy with that. I'm undecided about whether I'll go back.

Patriotic Days

A bunch of us got together to celebrate the 4th of July by watching a crappy scary movie (The Descent) and stuffing our faces.

In the spirit of Independence Day, we discussed the recent Scooter Libby ridiculousness and the 2008 presidential elections. We all agree that Bush and Scooter suck dick and that we're still undecided about the elections. I, however, am quite seriously thinking about becoming an ex-pat if the republicans win again. Seriously.

We can be like Hemingway and his pals, except w/o the cat or suicide. Who's in?

The Weekend Update

Friday
VJJ and I prepared ourselves for Cry-Fest 2007, aka as the movie Evening, featuring the best actresses of our time, only to wind up somewhat disappointed. The movie itself was nice - lovely cinematography, fantastic acting, semi-interesting plot, Patrick Wilson. The problem? IT WASN'T SAD!!! And I cry very easily.

Do any of you remember that Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup commercial from a few years ago? A little girl is adjusting to just being adopted; it's her first day in her new house. In an effort to make her feel more comfortable her new mom brings her a steaming bowl of chicken noodle soup. The mom doesn't say anything, just hands her the bowl, and the little girl smiles. Tears were streaming down my face by the end of the commercial. So you can understand how much of a letdown it was to shed only a few tears during this movie (if that - I only teared up once!).

Part of the problem, I think, is that the movie constantly shifts between the past and the present, which renders the viewer unable to really get into either of the stories. Plus, personally, I found the past much more interesting and wished they stuck more to that.

Although we didn't cry much, there was one woman in the theater who was deeply affected. For some reason she was SOBBING. I mean, heaving uncontrollably, trying to keep the snot in, practically hyperventilating. Okay, maybe it wasn't that extreme, but she really was crying quite a bit. We didn't get it.

Saturday
Met my sister and the kids at some park off Coldwater Canyon. There pond with ducks, turtles and fish. My niece was very intrigued by all the animals and kept shouting, "Ducks! Ducks! Ducks!" When we finally saw a turtle out of the water, I told her we had to be very quiet so as not to scare the turtle. Thereafter, she would shush any passerby and whisper that you had to be very quiet. One portly man did not heed her warning and practically stomped on the turtle, scaring it to death and thereby causing it to return to the water. My niece was sad and angry, saying to me, "He was NOT quiet!" She got over it in about half a second though.

Sunday
VJJ convinced me to take her ballet class. I must say, I was slightly inspired by SYTYCD, and haven't done ballet since I was six so I decided to give it a try. I remember liking ballet, especially all the accessories that accompany it - ballet slippers, little skirts, tights and leotards. I liked the class, but am not sure it'll fit into my schedule. I'm still thinking about it. I'm a little sore today, but I'm not sure if ballet is enough of a workout to keep me in shape, which is a new goal of mine. We'll see.

Pirate Adventure

Allen and I went to Pirate's Dinner Adventure this past Saturday as part of a field trip for his school. I must say that I thought the whole thing was pretty torturous. It's kind of like Medieval Times if you replace the knights with pirates. The show is a cheesy, low-cost (no-cost) musical. And, to make matters worse, the food isn't even good! It's like airplane food, which I find really gross.
The best part of the "adventure" was when I got berated by our pirate. Everyone is put into a different colored group and has a respective pirate. For example, we were seated in the yellow section and were assigned the yellow pirate (he also happened to be the only Asian pirate, wonder if they made him yellow on purpose...). So before the show starts, the yellow pirate walks up to our row and asks one of Allen's co-workers to go up to the stage with him. She immediately agrees. He then approaches me and this is what happened:

Pirate: I need you to come up to the front with me.
ME: Um. No thanks.
P: Why not? Just come up front.
ME: Really, no thanks.
P: I told everyone they would have fun! Come up to the front.
ME: I'll just have fun from my seat thank you.
P: You won't be embarrassed. It's fun. Just come up.
Me: Yeah, really, I'll just stay here and have lots of fun in my seat.
P: WHY ARE YOU BEING SUCH A BABY???? WHY ARE YOU BEING SUCH A BABY???
ME (about to punch this mother-effer in the face, but trying to remain calm so as to not embarrass Allen in front of his co-workers): NO thanks. I'll stay here.

Can you believe that?! He totally was shouting at me. When he was done with me and realized (finally) that i wasn't going to give in, he turned to the girl next to me and started yelling at her! He was such a douche bag. He even more disappointing when we realized he was the lamest pirate of them all, he couldn't do any acrobatic tricks like the other pirates, he couldn't sing or act (a required skill they all seemed to be lacking).

Anyway, don't waste your money. It was free for us and I still regretted going.

Mini Update

I started the new job this past Monday. I still miss all my friends at W. Beach. It's not that people at the new place aren't nice, they definitely are, but it's not the same. I'm sure I'll make new friends and they'll be fun too, but the W. Beach folks became a part of my family.

My favorite things about the new job?

Free parking!
At W. Beach I had to park on the street and walk a couple blocks to the office. The walking I didn't mind, but i HATED parking on the street. My car got scratched, dinged and sat upon (one day, I found a Land Rover parked ON TOP of my bumper).

Free food!
They have a good selection of snacks/food here, including Hot Pockets, cup-o-noodles (so bad for you, I will try to resist eating), yogurt, cottage cheese (yuk), fruit, oatmeal, cereal, popcorn and more! Plus a wide selection of beverages though i mostly just drink water.

Office supplies!
I'm a complete nerd and LOVE, and I mean LOVE, ordering office supplies. I tried to maintain some form of composure as the receptionist handed me the giant Corporate Express catalog on my first day. No one here knows about my love for office supplies yet. I really, really tried to not go crazy and order everything I wanted, whether I needed it or not, and I think I did pretty well. I got some new pens, highlighters, sharpies (one of my all-time favorite products, I resisted ordering the giant 24-pack, and just kept it the basic four colors - trust me, that took restraint) and most of the desk stuff that everyone needs such as drawer organizers and so forth. Office supplies are ordered each Friday so I won't get mine until next week. The suspense is seriously killing me. I can't wait for them to arrive!

That's all for now. I'm glad I have at least one friend here at the new place. She's helping me adjust and introducing me to all her friends.

Dolphin Killer(s)

I was completely horrified when I read this on Yahoo! News as one of the 'top stories.'

Four dead dolphins have washed ashore with fatal bullet wounds and fifth with lacerations on its pectoral fin, said authorities who have offered a reward for information on the slayings.

It's a horrendous thing that happened," said Mark Oswell, spokesman for the National Oceanic & Atmospheric Administration. "That someone would go out there and shoot four dolphins."

"It usually turns out to be a fisherman," said Oswell, adding there have been cases when anglers take out their frustrations on dolphins and other mammals that eat their catch. Complete article.

I can't imagine how anyone could live with themselves after killing a dolphin. I know, people get killed all the time and you don't see me blogging about it daily, but then again, sometimes people suck, while dolphins never suck. Sometimes, sadly, you can understand why and how a human being would get shot: self-defense, poverty, mental illness, gang violence (aka The Game for all you fellow Wire watchers). But dolphins are innocent. They're so lovely and smart and friendly and entertaining. So it's really quite unbelievable that someone, even a struggling fisherman, would intentionally shoot and kill one of them, not to mention four of them. A whole school! I hope the person is caught and severely punished.

Camping

We finally uploaded the camping photos from our one night spent at El Capitan State Beach.

Our tent! It looks really small in this picture for some reason, but it's not. It's very spacious for a tent. We love it.

After dinner, we went back to the beach to watch the sun set. Pretty right?

This is later in the evening, just as the sun is about to set. Remember the dolphins we saw? yeah, we really couldn't get a picture of them. I mean, we tried, but they're not visible; they just look like they're a part of the waves.

Okay, that's all I have the energy to post. I'm a lazy bum these days.

DVD Reviews

Since I've had so much free time lately I've been watching a lot of movies. Here are a couple of the latest ones I've seen.

Alpha Dog
This is based on the true story of a 15 y/o boy who is kidnapped by a bunch of low-level drug dealers. It actually happened in LA during the late 90s so many of you might remember it. The movie starts off badly. The first 30 minutes consist of these druggies telling each other to f--k off and is just really stupid, but I guess there setting up some background and letting the audience know that the characters are just a group of stupid, young, immature guys. They end up kidnapping this boy because his older brother owes the ringleader, Johnny Truelove, money and has been threatening and insulting to Johnny.

The story is really sad because the boy has multiple opportunities to leave, but he decides to stay because he's trying to be grown up and thinks it's a way to help his brother. JT is in charge of watching him and eventually sort of becomes this boy's friend. He's actually not half bad in the film. Anyway, I'd recommend renting it if you're interested. I thought it was worth the time even though parts of it are stupid and seem pointless.


War Tapes
This documentary uses footage shot by three American soldiers while they're on duty in Iraq. It's not the best documentary ever made, but it's very interesting. You see the soldiers risking their lives for the very obvious purpose of helping KBR/Haliburton (Vice President Dick Cheney's company) make more money. The soldiers become aware that that they've essentially been deployed in Iraq mainly to serve as security to the cargo trucks belonging to Haliburton. Haliburton basically has a monopoly on every product in Iraq from food to gas. One soldier described it as if each and every store in your community was owned and operated by one single company. Haliburton is even contracted to serve the food on the army base and charges the US government for every single item down to the paper plates. Haliburton is by no means the main focus of the documentary, but it's hard to ignore the fact that these soldiers are risking their lives and that Haliburton is making an ungodly amount of money because of it, not to mention that WE, taxpayers, are lining Cheney's pockets with more and more money every day that we're in this war.

It's also very interesting, and a little sad, to watch the soldiers progress. They definitely change as they're over there and become more cynical and jaded. When they return two of the three are visibly more angry, depressed and emotionally scarred.

Hello

Okay, I know I haven't updated in a very long time. Sorry! Since leaving W. Beach, I've just been bumming around. Even though I've had all this time off, it's not a good time for Allen to take vacation since it's the end of the school year for him and lots of his students are graduating. Luckily, he was able to take a couple days off last weekend.

Friday 6/1
We woke up super early to make the drive up to Refugio State Beach, which is about 20 minutes north of Santa Barbara. We had packed up the car for a four-day weekend of camping and were really excited to finally be taking some time off to do something fun. We got to Refugio, but it turned out the campgrounds were full. The park services girl suggested we try "El Cap" (by looking at the map we figured out that she meant El Capitan State Beach), which was a few miles south. We drove down there and luckily there were four sites left out of over 200!

(We didn't take this photo. I was going to upload pics, but Allen took the camera today - sorry!)

We set up and took a nap - we were really tired from waking up so early! After we woke up, we took a quick walk on the beach. The campgrounds are right on the coast and the beach is only a few minutes walk. We only stayed for a bit to check it out, but after dinner (spaghetti and meat balls!) we went back to watch the sun set. It was so pretty! We even got to see some dolphins near the shore. We kept trying to take pictures of the dolphins but they were too far away and too quick for us.

After it got dark, we built up the fire and tried to enjoy the night. Unfortunately, there were a lot of kids in our area. And even more unfortunate, they were really annoying. Normally, I'm a big fan of kids. Everyone knows I dote on my niece and nephew, but man, the girls near our site were so bratty and one of them had a very shrill voice. Like banshee shrill. And she kept insisting that she was not afraid of the dark. So we gave up on sitting by the fire and went to our tent to watch an episode of The Shield on Allen's laptop instead. It was a good one! Then we went to bed.

Saturday
In the morning, park services told us we couldn't stay - the grounds were fully reserved for Saturday. It really sucked, but we packed up and tried to see if the other campgrounds had any open sites, but we didn't have any luck so we just had to drive home.

When we got home, we were totally bummed out that our trip was cut so short. Allen already requested Monday off so he decided to plan a mini-trip to Palm Springs! We'd never been there together and Allen had never been at all. We booked a cheap room for Sunday at the Palm Court Inn.

We were somewhat cheered up so we decided to go to dinner. We took BK to eat soon tofu at BCD Tofu - his first time. Yum! Then we got Korean dessert at Ice Kiss. It's this crazy dessert that has fruit, ice cream, jelly things, red beans, whipped cream and shaved ice. It comes in a doggy bowl! The only thing I don't really like is the red bean, so I won't get that next time.


Sunday
We headed out to Palm Springs and made a stop at the Cabazon Outlets since check-in wasn't until 3pm. It was pretty hot outside, but we tried to tour the entire mall. We bought some new salad plates at Crate And Barrel (love that store) and some other stuff.

(I didn't buy the whole set - I wish! But this is what our new salad plates look like)

After checking in, we went swimming. It was seriously hot in PS with temps in the 100s during the day and in the 80s at night. Swimming was fun and relaxing. I normally don't like swimming very much b/c I hate getting water in my ears, eyes and nose, which kind of defeats the point. But it was so hot that I just had to get in the water. There were these two foreign women who were also in the pool and all they did was work out. It was so strange. They were doing push-ups and swimming laps. Made me feel really lazy and fat, but whatevs.

We decided to go into town after it cooled down a bit. We saw a Cold Stone and thought it would be perfect because it was still pretty warm out. We had to wait for a LONG time before we were served because there were two groups in front of us. Both groups had only one member who could speak English (barely) so ordering took a really long time. I was getting pretty frustrated, but eventually we got our ice cream (Allen got a shake) and it was delicious.

Monday
We had to check out by noon so we ate breakfast and then went into town. We tried to walk around since most of the shops had been closed the night before, but it was so damn hot that we just decided to go home.

See? I haven't been doing much. The only thing I have been doing a lot of is reading and watching DVDs. I'll post reviews next.

W. Beach

Yesterday was my last day at work W. Beach. I'll be starting somewhere new in a few weeks, and while I'm very excited about this new opportunity (and especially glad that I already have a friend there), I'm so sad to be leaving my friends at W. Beach. I've made so many lasting friendships with the funniest, kindest people. I know I'll still see everyone on the weekends, and sometimes even during the week, but it's not the same as seeing them everyday, you know? I guess this is just a part of growing up. Love you peeps.

Weekend Update

Friday
A bunch of us went back to Ye Olde King's Head for a low-key night. This time, however, the night didn't go as smoothly as we hoped. We were asked to switch tables twice and had to deal with a rude magician (really) and his rep/assistant. The rep was very pushy and kept shoving her odd-shaped boobs in our faces. In the end though, we got the last laugh - a free round of drinks AND no one showed up for the magic/comedy show!

Saturday
While Allen was taking his CSET Science test, I ran some errands at the promenade. Picked up some new undergarments at Victoria's Secret & exchanged some make-up for my mom. You know how third street has all those street performers? One of them caught my ear and I stopped to listen for awhile. It turned out to be a band (two guys) called the Ken Oak Band. One guy (Ken Oak) uses a cello as a bass and the other guy has a guitar and they both sing. Their music is kind of folksy, but I liked it enough to check them out on myspace. I'm friends with them now.

Afterwards, I stopped by the library and picked up two books: Girl With A Pearl Earring and Slammerkin. After reading The Other Boelyn Girl, I've been so interested in 15-18th century-based novels. I've already finished Girl With A Pearl Earring (I had nothing else to do on Saturday and it's a fast read!) and I really liked it. I'd already seen the movie, starring Scarlett Johansson and Colin Firth, so I knew what the story was, but I still enjoyed it. I love the idea that there's a story behind every painting.

After Allen got home, we watched Pan's Labyrinth. All the bugs and weirdos totally creeped me out, but I really liked the juxtaposition of the real world against the fantasy world.

Sunday
Went to visit my mother, who is leaving again soon. We went to dim sum, where all the dishes are only $1.99 each! That's a steal. The place gets so packed that they started opening at 7am. After breakfast, I took my mom to Target to pick up some make-up. I wanted to buy the make-up for her, since I barely got her anything for Mother's Day. Part of her gift was supposed to be a mother/daughter(s) day out, where my sister and I would take her to lunch and go shopping. My sister ended up not being able to make it out, so I really wanted to make it up to my mom and I was insisting that I pay for her stuff at Target. I swiped my card before she could get her cash out, but then she practically pummelled me in the parking lot and forced me to take her cash. Do you guys ever have this problem with your parents? I took the cash, but snuck it into her purse when she was in the bathroom. When she's at the airport and there's nothing she can do, I'll call her and tell her where I hid it.

DVD Review: Because I Said So

I say this movie is a piece of crap. Normally, I love Diane Keaton - she's so quirky and lovable. In Because I Said So Keaton plays the completely neurotic, overbearing, insane mother to three equally annoying and crazy daughters, including Mandy Moore. Keaton can't let her youngest daughter (Moore) go and constantly meddles in her love life.

The plot is weak at best. The characters are unlikeable. Keaton's long scenes make you seriously hate her and want to pull your hair out. There's a scene where Keaton has lost her voice due to laryngitis and has to write in a notebook to communicate. She asks Moore, her youngest daughter, what an orgasm feels like. WHAT MOTHER DOES THAT? Moore then proceeds to describe the sensations, ooh-ing and ahh-ing, eyes closed and writhing on the sofa -- it is one of the most uncomfortable and unbelievable scenes I've ever witnessed! I had to fast-forward because it was totally grossing me out.

Even more annoying? Keaton and Moore wore Uggs (colored ones, no less!) for half the movie. Enough said.

DVD Review: Deliver Us From Evil

This was a heartbreaking and utterly disturbing documentary written and directed by Amy Berg. Berg interviews Father Oliver O'Grady, who admits he has molested, abused, raped and sodomized numerous children, and allows him to explain his actions. The film also follows three of the victims and their families as they struggle to heal and search for answers as to why the Catholic church allowed this predator to continue to be around children.

O'Grady clearly has psychological issues and it is very eerie hearing him explain the "situations" of abuse. He isn't the least bit remorseful and he's very deliberate and careful in his choice of words so as to trivialize the abuse that he perpetrated.

Watching the parents of the victims is truly gut-wrenching. They all feel so guilty for allowing this man into their lives and putting their children at risk.

Berg also delves deeper into the history of the Catholic church to find out why child abuse and molestation is so prevalent. The answer completely makes sense and you have wonder WHY they don't make changes. You'll be shocked, angry, sad and uncomfortable throughout the film, but it's so interesting and completely worth your time.

Weekend Update

Sorry this is late; I've actually been busy at work lately.

Friday
Allen, BK, S+R, and I wanted to do something low-key Friday night. We made plans to meet at Voda Bar in Santa Monica, but it turns out that Voda is about as big as my closet. All the tables there were reserved and there was hardly any standing space unless you squeezed in somewhere near the bar. Instead, we decided to give Ye Olde King's Head a chance. Guess what? It was pretty fun! There are two pubs to choose from, one rowdy and loud, and one that is more relaxed. We hit up the quieter one and had a great time chatting (yes, we could actually hear ourselves w/o shouting) and the best part was that call drinks were only $8! I'm sure we'll go back again.

Saturday
We didn't do much during the day, but went to dinner at my Mom's in the evening. She made yummy beef stew and something similar to shabu-shabu (in Mandarin, we call it "hot pot").

Sunday
A bunch of us have been planning a trip to Magic Mountain for quite some time now, but kept putting it off. This past Sunday we finally went. When Biddy and Spam told me they wouldn't join us because they don't like roller coasters I laughed at them and called them chickens. Well. As I was being strapped into my seat on Viper (our "warm up" ride), I realized that I am the ultimate chicken.

(SM, BK and Allen are actually on this ride, Tatsu)

I remember the days when roller coasters were exciting and fun. Yes, I'd be scared, but it was exhilarating and thrilling. Now, it's only terrifying and stressful. Alas, I am too old for roller coasters.

I had a ton of fun at Magic Mtn (thanks to my friends), but I won't be going back.

PCD: Asia Gettin' The "Aks"?

Remember Asia, the somewhat snotty, less talented competitor in the Pussycat Dolls: Search For The Next Doll reality show, who won despite her many faults? Well. According to TMZ, she was not present at a recent PCD show in Atlanta.

As TMZ first reported last week, sources say Asia, who won CW's "The Search for the Next Doll," isn't "the best match" for the group, but at the time, we were told by Warner Bros. that Asia "is absolutely a member ... and will tour with the group and record for the Dolls' second album." So what gives?

Calls to the group were not returned, but things aren't looking so hot for Asia -- the reality show has been green-lit for another season and TMZ spotted Robin Antin, the creator of the group, dancing with the runners-up on the series, Chelsea and Melissa, last night at the Stoli Hotel in Hollywood.

Hmph! Asia probably complained that she didn't take center stage or that she didn't get to spend enough time with her daughter and her poor attitude got her booted from the group. Whatevs. I always wanted Melissa R. to win anyway.

Bottomless Bean Pit

I received a Soup Plantation coupon in my email yesterday so Allen and I went there for dinner. I must say, there is always some form of entertainment available at SP. What we witnessed last night amazed us. We still can't get over it. Neither of us has ever seen one person, let alone a very small girl, probably 5'3", 105-110lbs., put away so much food. I found a few pictures, but they really don't do her appetite justice.

This girl ate at least four overflowing bowls of beans (there was a mixed bean soup, but she didn't seem to want the soup part), a humongous salad (Allen couldn't even figure out how she fit so much on one plate; it was a salad tower!), two giant bowls of chicken noodle soup (again sans the soup), a plate full of muffins and at least one baked potato with all the trimmings (bacon, cheddar cheese, sour cream etc.). She made multiple trips to get more food.


At one point, while I was getting more soup, Allen saw that she went into the bathroom. He ran to get me so I could spy on her. I quickly went in and, according to Allen, no more than 15 seconds passed between the time she went in and I followed. I washed my hands and kept my eye on her stall through the mirror - she wasn't sitting on the commode, rather she was already standing to the side of the toilet, blowing her nose. Afterwards, she flushed the toilet twice. My thoughts are that she's gotta be one of the following:

1. She's the world's fastest pee-er.
2. She's the world's quietest barfer.
3. She just had to blow her nose. (But why the two flushes then??)
4. She's like a hummingbird and has to eat all the time due to some strange superhuman metabolism.
   

I hope she didn't notice us spying.

Buttocks Anyone?

Isn't this just lovely? The red bar is courtesy of TMZ. They were kind enough to cover up any dingleberries.

WTH is that guy doing? Hugh Grant isn't even facing him!

DVD Review: Smokin' Aces = Smokin' Turd

This movie sucked! Whatever you do, no matter how bored you are, do NOT watch this piece of shix so-called movie. Everyone who knows me knows I quite enjoy violence in films. Some of my favorite movies of all time include The Godfather, Heat, Collateral - all movies with plenty of shooting and killing etc. However, I do not enjoy gratuitous violence or violence just for violence's sake. I enjoy it when someone gets shot in the head as a part of the plot. Smokin' Aces altered its plot to accommodate the violence.

The premise of the movie is that a mob boss wants a guy named Aces killed and a bunch of different assassins are trying to kill him to collect reward money. They supposedly all get to where Aces is located around the same time, but obviously there has to be some sort of chronological order - one killer gets there sooner and is followed by other assassins. Hello...since when do professional assassins move at snail speed?

The director obviously did not stay true to how real assassins would act (quick and efficient is my guess) just so he could add gore and bloodshed to his already crappy film. The three guys above, who must've been the world's most mentally impaired professional hit men, actually brought a chainsaw to kill this guy. Does that seem probable to you? It almost seemed like everyone in the film knew it was a piece of shix so they just acted over-the-top and ridiculous in an effort to have some fun, but no one clued in the director. Unfortunately, he was serious about this dumb film.