DVD Review: Smokin' Aces = Smokin' Turd

This movie sucked! Whatever you do, no matter how bored you are, do NOT watch this piece of shix so-called movie. Everyone who knows me knows I quite enjoy violence in films. Some of my favorite movies of all time include The Godfather, Heat, Collateral - all movies with plenty of shooting and killing etc. However, I do not enjoy gratuitous violence or violence just for violence's sake. I enjoy it when someone gets shot in the head as a part of the plot. Smokin' Aces altered its plot to accommodate the violence.

The premise of the movie is that a mob boss wants a guy named Aces killed and a bunch of different assassins are trying to kill him to collect reward money. They supposedly all get to where Aces is located around the same time, but obviously there has to be some sort of chronological order - one killer gets there sooner and is followed by other assassins. Hello...since when do professional assassins move at snail speed?

The director obviously did not stay true to how real assassins would act (quick and efficient is my guess) just so he could add gore and bloodshed to his already crappy film. The three guys above, who must've been the world's most mentally impaired professional hit men, actually brought a chainsaw to kill this guy. Does that seem probable to you? It almost seemed like everyone in the film knew it was a piece of shix so they just acted over-the-top and ridiculous in an effort to have some fun, but no one clued in the director. Unfortunately, he was serious about this dumb film.